Growing Up

Right now, I am laying on my side on my bed in my childhood room. I'm eating strawberries with sugar (is there any other way to eat strawberries?) and I'm resting my feet on a pillow pet. This is exactly what I've always done, every evening during the summer when I'm out of school and not working. Nothing is out of the ordinary, really, until I stop to actually think about it. 

First of all, my corgi is running around on the floor, playing with things that you wouldn't think could entertain a puppy but somehow do. So... I have a puppy. Bradley and I have a puppy, and it's a crazy kind of responsibility that I never considered before. 

Secondly, I just finished my freshman year of college, which is a surreal and amazing feeling. I'm so glad to be done, but I realize that now that I've spent a year away from home, I've taken a huge step forward and can really never turn around again. It's kind of frightening.

And thirdly, I'm buying a car. It's in the works, and you will all see it as soon as I'm planted in the driver's seat with my hands on 10 and 2 (like the scaredy cat I know I'm going to be). I'm calling for a car insurance quote tomorrow, I'm buying a car, I'm doing all of these things.

I am a grownup.

I've always wanted to grow up. I spent most of my childhood around adults more than children, so I knew I would never be one of those kids who didn't want to grow up. I've always wanted to be an adult.

But now I am. And I'm kind of scared. 

There are so many things about being an adult that I'm unsure of. And so many responsibilities I'm going to have that I don't know how to handle. And I'm not even sure if I'm ready to be a grownup, because as far as I can tell, it's not even the slightest bit close to easy.

Wish me luck.