one day.

I like to think of myself as relatively cynical. I used to call myself a realist, but I don't cut myself much slack on that front nowadays. I'm a pessimist and I accept it as it comes. 

I like to think that good things come to me when I work hard for them, but all I can usually remember is that if I try to make my hair look nice it always rains and if I don't do my reading before class the professor will always call on me and if I volunteer to answer a question my answer is always wrong. 

So, I am not optimistic about life. Not every day. 

But I am optimistic that life can change.

I was afraid of change. I didn't like the idea. I wanted to live the same life I'd been living for over a year and never change. I didn't want to change at college, I didn't want to change my relationships, I didn't want to change myself. December was a terrible month for me. I was lost, I was lonely, I was essentially evil.

Then I woke up one day... and it was over.

There's a point to this, I promise. 

January and February are depressing months. January is the month after Christmas and new year resolutions are falling through, and February is the shortest month and of course if you aren't madly in love it's kind of a pain in the neck. The weather is bipolar and dreary, and the sun doesn't shine enough. 

It's easy to lose your faith. It's easy to lose your hope. It's easy to think everything is falling apart. It's easy to fall apart yourself.

I've witnessed a lot of people collapsing this semester. Maybe spring semester is just more demanding, but I've felt a lot closer to the end of my rope than I did last semester, too. Maybe it's hard on all of us. The weeks are longer and our breaks are farther away, the weather is terrible, the workload is stressful. (Not to mention our basketball team is sucking for air.)

I can see the people around me losing faith in themselves. Thinking that a failed assignment means the end of the world, that missing a homework due date will ruin their GPA, that they can't get everything they need done in time, that they have hit rock bottom or will soon. Thinking that losing friends is the end of the world, that the end of a relationship will never be gotten over, that fights with family or friends will follow them for the rest of their life. 

Maybe it is just that bad. Maybe everything seems hopeless. 

Don't lose your hope just yet.

You might wake up tomorrow and everything might've changed overnight. 

Life can change. 

Don't lose your hope just yet. Tomorrow is a new day.